City of Shared Stories Kuala Lumpur

Dear Mrs Namotswe,

You are right, I was indeed surprised to get your email. In fact, my gob was smacked when I read of your unfortunate predicament, and I thank you for sharing your plight with me in such anguished capital letters. It is true we are total strangers, but as the saying goes: 'Strangers are just friends we haven't met'. Bless the Internet for making the world a smaller, friendlier place.

My condolences on the loss of your husband in that coup. It must have been a big blow to you -- and also your people, after he served them for so long. I must confess I don't know much about your country, but I see the business transaction you propose as being a valuable learning experience for me. Never have I been offered 40% of the sum of US$22,300,855! Although I don't have my abacus with me, I am sure it is quite a big sum. I know some moralists will say that these gains are ill-gotten, but who am I to criticise the way your late husband siphoned off those funds? 'Let he who is without sin get stoned' is my own motto.

However, I feel that the sum is too much for my own needs. I will need only maybe 10% of it. As for the rest, could I interest you in an investment plan right here in Malaysia? It involves a bid for Malaysia to host the next Winter Olympics. I have friends in all the right government departments (and, yes, your email made me smile at how similar our countries are!) and this deal could make us both many, many more zeroes in any currency. So before I give you my bank details, I need to confirm if you are interested in this offer.

Yours in anticipation,
AM.